I have some poems and according to others they're really good, but I'd like to see how the citizens of RMF react to them. (I like ideas and comments pwease!)

Ignorance
The little child
In that pale window
Staring down at the rest of the world
She realizes
Why do I just sit here?
Looking down at this little place?
When I could be out there living, experiencing it?
She ponders for a little longer
Then,
Gathers her things
And walks out the Manhattan apartment door
She waddles down the narrow steps
Till she reaches the front door
She looks out onto the icy grounds of the city
She wonders how dangerous this extraordinary place
Her thoughts don’t last as long as they should have
She walks out onto the street
She attempts to run across the street
Like she’s seen other people do
What she doesn’t do
Is look to her left
Within a split second
Her blood is spattered across the ground


Long Gone
In the deepest dwellings of night
The call of a little girl
Still lingers in the frozen air
She’s long dead though
Poor child
Bleeding to death
Then slowly colour fades from her lips
And her body is completely cold
Why was she forgotten?
Why did her guardians betray this child?
Did they not know until it was too late?


Beautiful Silence
I’ve seen
The most beautiful thing in the world
It’s quite a strange thing
I do believe so
But how to begin?
How do I begin this magnificent tale?
I guess at the beginning?
Of course,
I heard the little yellow birds
Fluttering and chirping
Frankly,
It annoyed me
I hate they’re cheery voices
Mocking and intimidating me
I ran into the basement,
Where I thought it would be quiet
But then I heard the cat
Meowing meowing meowing
I was aggravated by it all
But when I a sat by the tree in the front yard
And saw a little ant
He made no noise
He was no pest to me
He was the most beautiful thing in the world


Dark Souls
I call
Into that dark cave
It’s a solemn cave
So quiet
I felt as if I had to scream
Because of the eeriness
That silence was the scariest of all
I can’t begin to describe it
But I think you’ve probably experienced the feeling
It’s that quiet,
That feeling you get in your heart and throat
That doesn’t stop hurting
Until something or someone that soothes
Your poor and beaten soul
But yes,
I felt that dark pain
I screamed
Not from fear
But to comfort
My dark and bitter soul…

Raven's Impact
A black raven soars above the child’s head
She whispers to herself about how beautiful the bird is
She tries to follow the black bird
But she soon loses sight of it
She frowns at the sky
Day after day passes
And she is still reminded about that bird
Why?
I wouldn’t be able to tell you
For I am not that little girl
Who wishes she could soar with that raven
Into whatever abyss
She stumbles upon.


Home
Wandering through the cold, thoughtless night
A white dove floats above your head
You huddle your arms close to your body
To try and keep warm
Your home is quite far away
But you keep your hope
Sooner or later
You’ll come upon that concrete apartment building
You’ll walk up the heated stairs
You’ll pull out a key from your coat pocket
And slide it into the door’s latch
You jiggle the doorknob till the door unseals itself
From it’s frame.
You turn on the lights as you walk down that narrow hall way
With your bedroom to the left and the kitchen to the right
Wearily you plop yourself down on the old dark brown couch
And fall into a deep sleep…


O Darling
O Darling
The whispering winds outside
They taunt me
But captures me
It draws me in
Yet
Frightens me so...
O Darling
Lock the doors
Hold the keys
Keep them away from me
So that I may never set foot outside this house
And follow the dreaded wind
I don't want to give in...
O Darling
Thank you
But please let me go
I know what I said,
But the hurt,
It's too much
Please let me follow the wind now?
O Darling
I hear it calling my name
I want it so badly now
Please let me reach them
Open the door
And let me free...

Scream
You hear the shattering scream
Then complete and utter silence
You don't pay much attension;
Thinking someone else will take action
After all,
You weren't really the "heroic" type
Minutes go by and you realize
You haven't heard any commotion
No alarm in peoples' faces
You think to yourself
"Why have I not heard and ambulance? Or see the panic in anyone's eyes?"
What you don't realize
You are the one who screamed
You are the dead one
And no one looked for you in that alleyway
Didn't even try...


Cry No More
Sweet little buttercup
You needn't cry
Not any longer
Everything shall be alright

So please
Don't cry anymore
I always hate it
When you're upset
It always saddens me

But
I'll try my best
To make you smile again
To help you stay strong through those dreary nights
To be the best that you can


Dark Memories
Lovely pursed lips
All pale and fine
Coarse hair
Black, with a meek shine
Small delicate hands
Folded across her lap
She lays very still
Like the crystal blue cresent moon
In dead silence
Not even the crickets are out tonight
Her eyes
Grayish with a tint of blue
Filled with hate and bottled up rage
But also
Sorrow
From those dark memories
She feels the scars along her pale skin
In her heart as well
The memories
That mercilessly taunt her
Thoughout that abusive life
Her eyes widen
Glaze over with un shed tears
Her lips separate
She takes in a deep breath
She erases from her head those horrid times
Of her torturing family
Then
She fades off
And goes to sleep
For eternity

The style is similar to my own. Not so much the themes, but the style. (So, yeah, that's my kind of thing.)

Maybe I should post one, too...

YOU SHOULD!

Okay...

(This one I wrote while supervising a classroom of students who were supposed to be doing homework. Not exciting work.)


I hid my heart in a rosebud
And it kept all my secrets
Secret deep inside,
Until Spring.
Then it opened out
And let my thoughts spill onto the ground.
The Summer rays turned them into a mist,
Which rose to join the clouds.

I hid my heart in a raincloud
And it kept all my secrets
Secret in plain view.
In Autumn, eyes turn to face the ground.
Then Winter rains drench the earth
With my thoughts,
Which feed a rosebush.

Wow... those were really good. I especially liked 'Scream'. Chilling.

I'm sort of a wannabe poet. My English teacher was really inspiring. XD

This is necro-posting, innit?

I have absolutely no problem with necroposting as long as you're posting something relevant like you did. In fact I think it helps promote activity.