So, in the thread on the AX event, I mentioned first WHY I wanted to question Mana about how he felt the first time seeing himself in a mirror with make-up on.

As I said, I felt there were hints in some of the effects Mana uses regularly that pointed to a movie. Bara no Soretsu. In that movie the main character is very young and sneaks into his mother's room and puts on her lipstick. At that point he seems overwhelmed and cries, but in a very sweetly tender gesture, leans in a kisses his own reflection. I found that scene incredibly touching and because I had read that Mana started cross dressing very young, I wondered if he might have had a similar experience of transformation and awe at the effect.

So, as I said, I prefaced my question with the acknowledgment that ALL of his art has meaning and I felt certain that his work as a make-up artist was like that as well. I feel that it is better to compliment his achievement as an artist than to just gush, "omg yer so purdy, how do you do it?"

I felt that he might have been surprised that I specified the part about seeing himself in a mirror because it alludes to the movie very obliquely. I do believe that Mana has seen the film. It's true that he's not big on Japanese horror, but as a movie buff, I'm certain he would have seen the film that inspired A Clockwork Orange. Also, for his own EGA look, he resembles the main character more than any other type of character I've seen:


The cute innocence of this effect is unusual and one I think Mana liked. This look was NOT common in Japanese onna-gata at any time.

Also, as I pointed out, Mana at times does a look of blood tears. This COULD be a vampire reference. So I will acknowledge that right away. But at the end of BNS, the main character stabs out his eyes then wanders out in the street wearing a white gauzy nightgown very similar to things we've seen Mana wear.
In fact, it is almost exactly like this:


So, I feel that his answer to my question; that he began wearing make-up in junior high suggests that he did, in fact find that scene in that film to me significant as that is the exact age where the main character puts on make-up the first time.

To think that of course simply makes me want to wrap the little boy Mana up and protect him from the loneliness of that kind of adolescence, as I relate.

Edit Ludivine: The first image wouldn't show for me so I fixed it. I should show for everyone now. Please refrain from hotlinking images. Hosting them on a site like Photobucket should avoid those issues. Thank you.

Before I write this, let me just say I in no way intend to hijack this post.

I have not seen the film in question, but the images you describe, well shocked me.

I have always liked feminine styles. I love either tight and sleek or gracefull and flowing. When I was growing up I detested the fact girls could have short hair, and wear pants but I always had to have my hair short, and could never wear skirts (which I loved to see).

The first time I got caught, it was when I was in elementary school, probably first grade. I had just put on one of my mom's slips out of sheer curiosity of what a skirt felt like to wear. Well my mom found me, and I was subjected to name calling, insults and all the usual stuff. After words I was told to never do it again.

Meanwhile I really started noticing how boys and girls were treated differently, and noticed boys were more restricted in what they wore and how they looked, and girls were just limited in what sports they could do. I thought both restrictions were lame. No reason for them. I had male and female friends and enjoyed each company about equally.

Okay, let me jump forward to my first time getting dressed up for Rocky Horror. First off despite what my parents said I indulged in Cding but never tried makeup. I loved it, the clothes felt great to wear compared to jeans, and other "boy clothes". Around that time leggings became acceptable for men...in sporting activities. Well I blew that restriction off and integrated it in my persona style, when away from high school, or airport related stuff.

Okay, so the first time I got done up for Rocky. I did not like the costumes of the show, which my friends had chosen. So I chose a costume consisting of a short black lycra minidress, black hose, high heels, and gothic make up, done by my friend at the time. I chose to not have the fake breasts, and instead just had a bra. Looking back and now knowing of Mervalis (sp), It seems I was channeling Mana even back then, even though I had no idea of his existence. The first incarnation of the costume had long blond hair, later replaced by the wavy black one used in my cosplay pics. The first time I saw my reflection I could not believe what I was seeing. I looked like me, but so much...better looking.

I guess what I am trying to convey is that the first time one sees oneself in the mirror after a transformation, some may just laugh it off, and act silly. I on the other hand somehow felt I was seeing a side of myself this world has denied the existence, of for no good reason as far as I could tell. Even when in the outfit I found myself more drawn to females, I had no attraction to men aside from as comrades. So it wasn't like putting on women's clothes made a guy want another guy.

I hid it for the most part aside from Rocky, and one or two Halloweeens, where the look improved every time. Out of all honesty it was the only place I could be truly a Gothic beauty, my personality remained much the same, but..softer, my movements described by fellow Rocky freaks as "graceful, elegant", never actually feminine, not sure how to say it. As my "normal" self I found my gestures and movements took on a more graceful flow. (over time this has degraded, due to the work environment I was in, VERY macho, but lately I have been reacquiring it )That was one thing that attracted one of my first real girlfriends. But where I and I am sure many others have hidden, due to cultural and societal restraints, Mana and obviously many other Jrockers have indulged in it, and used it to their fortune. Possibly a result of their culture where CDing is a part of their theater.

I found Mana's answer to your question intriguing to say the least. It made me think of the moment I just described.

*If you feel this detracts from you thread, please pm me, and I will remove it.*

:) not at all, Pythos, I feel you just expressed exactly what I was trying to say I think was Mana's experience.

See...most jrockers and Vis Kei artists have make-up artists, stylists, etc. Mana ALWAYS does his own make-up. Always. Check any GLB and you'll see. Someone from be-glee does his hair but ake up is by Mana. period.

He has also said that he got a hard time from his family for cross-dressing and that during MM era he crossdressed even when he visited his family and that they still objected. That is why I feel that it is NOT just about being a "rocker" but rather, Mana really transcends gender and his need to convey the truth of his being in spite of intense disapproval is part of what I admire about him.

In one place there was an interview where he was asked what his fans were to him and he said that when he was young he really didn't like himself but that his fans love taught him to accept himself. To me, that is very telling.

When I was 16 my mother found out that I liked girls and I was beaten with a phone for it. To this day I am disabled. I used to be a ballerina and I can never dance again, so to think that with regards to be different as a teen and remaining steadfast in his true self during that time is very inspiring for me. When the pain is so great I don't want to go on, I look to Mana for the strength to face another day.

Although this doesn't particularly pertain to his make up, I've read time and time again that Mana got a lot of his early influence from the movie Suspiria. He claims it was his favorite movie as a child, so a couple of years ago I decided to pick it up at a movie rental store. I watched it and noticed there is a scene that looks nearly identical to that picture you posted.

I'm sure you're correct in saying Mana has watched and gained influence from Bara no Soretsu, as your description truly sounds like a film Mana would watch. But on the other hand, knowing he had a ton of early influence from Suspiria also gives me some room to believe theres a lot of heavy influence in some of his appearances, along with that picture, that comes from that particular movie as well.

oh absolutely, Sarah! I think there's LOTS of influences in his art and I personally love exploring what some of them might be.


Suspiria, huh? I'll have to look into that one as well :) thank you!

I am also curious if those who cosplay Mana have any insights about the progression of his make-up artwork through the years?

I know that for the last end of year party since he played with Kozi, he wore blue make-up to suggest his MM style. But can it really be summed up that way?

What other influences has anyone noticed or felt through either looking at his effects or replicating them.

Does anyone know what the symbol on his brow was in the MM era?

I went a hunting through the time period in my life that inspired me to write a vampire novel and found my first impression of Bara no Soretsu:

"I found a song that just crushes me. It is so sad and sweet and beautiful, I cried when I first listened to it. Even jacob said, "Mom, this music is epic!"

It's called Bara no Soretsu.(by Malice Mizer) Apparently there was a very disturbing movie of the same name in the 60s. I watched a trailer, yeah, same emotion as the song, I'm sure....terrible crushing beauty that drives humans to unconscionable acts of depravity.

And now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the demons watch and weep
If I should die
In his embrace
I hope his blood
my lips shall taste..."


that's right.....it was the song that drove me to ask about the relationship between depravity and nobility, beauty and despair, the glorifying heights of love and the devastation of addiction....

Oh my!

thank you sooo really much Acacialazuli for all the ideas about Mana's art make-up you chare with us!


I'm wanting so badly now watching Bara no Soretsu!

didn't knew about the existence of the movie and it sounds great as you said it inspired Stanly Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange.

Just watched the trailer on you tube and this is one of the most impressive things i've ever saw in my life!

i'm completely touched and moved!

To me, watching clips of this film, reminds me more of Dada's lyrical imagery in Street of Alice. Same goes for alot of Dada's poetry and artwork...


However, Dada's ingeniousness is just............AMAZING!!

it's a really weird film. In some places super creepy, in other unbearably sensual, at other just total absurdity. In other words, it's crazy!

wow...
I just watched the Bara no Soretsu trailer...and now I really want to rent it! XD

Izumi: It is very Street of Alice (best album ever)! Dada radiates genius...

I never knew Mana has self confidence issues...it makes sense though. It must have been hard for him in high school...it's bad enough already...
I am very glad he loves himself now.
It makes me feel all fuzzy inside to think that we helped him...

Thank you very much Acacialazuli!



<33

I think that being Japanese and being an individualist, Mana would have to be a sociopath NOT to have some self-confidence issues growing up.

It's one of the reasons I have for admiring him so much. I know how it feels to stand in the face of overwhelming disapproval yet to feel that to be less than myself would be worse than death. And that's in a culture that celebrates individuality!

It is fortunate that Japan has different attitudes about crossdressing than the US. (here you could be strip-searched and jailed for having less than 5 items of the "appropriately gendered" clothing until 1969. That's what the Stonewall Riots were all about, though most people just think it was for "gay rights", it was mainly drag-queens and trannies that led that, but all people benefitted from the resulting freedom.)

But for Mana, his being different was not just about his dress or music preferences, he has a way of seeing the world that drives him to know himself in a way that sets him apart from people around him. That must have been lonely.

I can speak from a little experience.

It is lonely. It also sucks big time. Our culture is becoming more and more sheep like than individuals working together. It can be seen in how people present themselves, the way they think, the shows they like, and so on.

If you are different someone is gonna find a way to put you down, to make themselves feel good.

It is sad.

i'm so agree with this. Also, i think that's the reason of some fans to admire him and following him (counting on me). In certain way, we feel strongly identified to him.

@lips_blood_red:
yes, I think that's why he is the ONLY person I have joined a fanclub for. He has integrity and I respect that.


@Pythos: I don't think so. It may look that way if people isolate themselves and then whine about it, but if you do the internal work to get rid of self-pity so that you're not lashing out at people from your woundedness, you find that most of us are hurt and vulnerable and really just want to be heard. When I say "you" here, I mean in a generic way, as in, all of us.

My life has had the kind of tragedy that would make even Oprah shit bricks, but you know, I'm so grateful for all the opportunities it has given me to have compassion for others. In truth, the only way people are like sheep are when they buy into this isolationistic nihilism. And even Mana would say that's a sad world indeed.

The true individual steps out of the jaded box and sees the light of hope in every set of eyes. Can you be that strong?