Man goes in to the doctors and tells him his willy is bright orange. "Right" says the doctor "Lets send away a blood sample and come back next week"
The next week the man returns " The results show nothing wrong, we'll test you for allergies" After tests the man is told to return in a week.
On his third visit the doctor tells him the allergy test were negative. " I dont understand this " says the doctor, " tell me have you had any sexual intercourse with a lady of the night"
"No" says the man " the only action I get is sitting in front of the TV, eating Wotsits and watching porn"



no essex it wasnt me :D :D :D

Quite good actually! :lol:

(I bet it was you!) :rolleyes:

There was this little man sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big bloke comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big bloke says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little man thinks "Bloddy Hell," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big bloke knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little man has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little man is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big bloke and -- Scuds him on the back of the head! -- knocks the big bloke off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!

The little man looks at the barman and says,

"When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from B&Q."

Where are you getting these from? :lol:

another forum :D

Got anymore? :lol:

ill try later,g2g off for a while :(